I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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