brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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