I hate all girls vehemently.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
