Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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