Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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