The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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