never play flip cup with pint glasses
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
