Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
