my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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