you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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