if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
