You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize