ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize