The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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