He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
