i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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