Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize