So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
