Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
How does one acquire holy water?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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