if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize