I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
