My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My vagina is very pro this idea
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