y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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