everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
