I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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