mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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