Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize