Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
