your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
