i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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