why didn't you poke me back
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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