I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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