two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
