Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
