I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Panties = found
Randomize
