I wannas sexs uuuuu
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
