oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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