i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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