Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Randomize