No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
