I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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