You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
