worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
