I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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