did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
