Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize