How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I think I am morally bankrupt
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
