oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
