let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
