meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize