You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
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I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
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I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat