guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH