how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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