My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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