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I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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