i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize