the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize