the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she pinky promised me she was 18
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
