you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
