I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
