sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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