I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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