I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
