honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
