You made me cry and you don't even care
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
