walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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