shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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