i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
