FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
