It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
