Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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